Quote by Bob Newhart:

Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright. My own private theory is that stammerers have so many ideas swirling around their brains at once that they can't get them all out, though I haven't found any scientific evidence to back that up.

Short bio
George Robert Newhart is an American stand-up comedian and actor, noted for his deadpan and slightly stammering delivery.

All quotes by Bob Newhart

Quotes by other comedians

I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking for, for more than an hour or so, I'd start drifting off... I can't sit still too long.

I appreciate the fact that Obama is the 'tech President'. I kinda like that, isn't that kinda cool? You see him, he's on his Blackberry. I'm like 'Is he playing BrickBreaker right now?'. He does like YouTube updates. Doesn't that have to be cool? Like you log in to your Myspace in the middle of the night and 'Oh fuck, Obama's on'. You can write to him 'Obama, what are you doing?'. 'Oh, I just downloaded that video of the kid shooting himself in the nipple with the paintball gun. You gotta see that. And I'm working on some legislation too'. 'Oh, good stuff. Obama, you on Facebook?'. 'Na, I got poked by a zombie and the Secret Service took me outta there, so...'.

Gay people invented sports. Think about it. Boxing. Two topless men... in silk shorts... fighting over a belt and a purse.