My friends were getting married, buying houses, buying cars, and I wasn't doing anything. There was the point was I talk to myself to you, every screw up nature, look at what you've done with your life. But there was always something on the horizon, that was holding, maybe, you know, this will make you different.
Quote by Bob Newhart:
Quotes by other comedians
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
They say rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. They don't mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.
The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them.
If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.
The only way I'd need a pain reliever to enjoy sex is if all of my fantasies came true at the same time.