I had a porn star in the audience the other night, and she really doesn’t like performing sex scenes. She says, “I fake my orgasms. I can’t wait for this to get off me. And all I can think about is getting paid and having dinner later.” I said, “Wow! I’m married to a porn star!”
Quote by Bobby Slayton:
Quotes by other comedians
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now.' He didn't need to admit that. He's blind. Could have said it was an accident.
Comedy Central, they told me I had to watch my language because, the woman said, they had 'standards and practices.' I was like, wait a minute - you're Comedy Central. Aren't you the network where your number one show is a cartoon with a talking piece of shit?