Quote by Bobby Slayton:

I had a porn star in the audience the other night, and she really doesn’t like performing sex scenes. She says, “I fake my orgasms. I can’t wait for this to get off me. And all I can think about is getting paid and having dinner later.” I said, “Wow! I’m married to a porn star!”

Comedian
Short bio
Robert Michael Slayton is an American actor, voice actor, and stand-up comedian sometimes referred to as "The Pitbull of Comedy" or "Yid Vicious". Slayton is probably best known for a supporting role in the 2001 film Bandits, and as a frequent guest on The Adam Carolla Show.

All quotes by Bobby Slayton

Quotes by other comedians

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name.

My parenting style could be described as not "good cop" or "bad cop" so much as "nervous cop." I'm always yelling for somebody to stop because they're about to get hurt. I'm the "take a jacket," "slow down" guy.

If you ask your congressman why, he'll say Because it's hard. It's really hard. Makes me want to go poopie. You know why we don't have solar energy? It's because the sun goes away each day, and it doesn't tell us where it's going!

The banjo is such a happy instrument - you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.

Sure, I've gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees... I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands or feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but... thank God, I still have my Florida driver’s license!