Quote by Dave Chappelle:

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Comedian
Short bio
David Khari Webber Chappelle is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Chappelle is the recipient of numerous accolades, including two Emmy Awards and two Grammy Awards. He is most known for his iconic and acclaimed satirical comedy sketch series Chappelle's Show.

All quotes by Dave Chappelle

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Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. Peer pressure, acne, final exams, seven little tiny hairs on your upper lip. Luckily, the girls never noticed your infantile moustache, 'cos they were hyptonised by the fire engine sized zit on your forehead.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night...

Because I think whenever you sit down with another human being who would absolutely disagree with you on every issue, you learn about them as a person and you relate, in human terms, and it's much more difficult for either side to dismiss out of hand, like that person's a freak, that person's a Nazi.