Quote by Dave Chappelle:


I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Comedian
Short bio
David Khari Webber Chappelle is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Chappelle is the recipient of numerous accolades, including two Emmy Awards and two Grammy Awards. He is most known for his iconic and acclaimed satirical comedy sketch series Chappelle's Show.

All quotes by Dave Chappelle

Quotes by other comedians

I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.

A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.

They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure … At least he fucking jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the fucking Block … I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out.