When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
Quote by David Brenner:
Quotes by other comedians
"I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
My mother calls at five-thirty in the morning. I'm not a dairy farm. I don't like phone calls before six in the morning.