Quote by David Brenner:

I said, 'How would you like to be in one place?' He said, 'What place?' I could have said, 'Des Moines.'

Short bio
David Norris Brenner was an American stand-up comedian, actor and author. The most frequent guest on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in the 1970s and 1980s, Brenner "was a pioneer of observational comedy."

All quotes by David Brenner

Quotes by other comedians

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.

Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.