Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors.
Quote by David Brenner:
Quotes by other comedians
Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my 87 birthday. I tell them a paternity suit.
Keep thy religion to thyself.