Quote by David Cross:

If someone gives you a kazoo and toots around the house to MTV, they're not gonna fuck you.

Comedian
Short bio
David Cross is an American stand-up comedian, actor, director, and writer, known primarily for his stand-up performances, the HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show, and his role as Tobias Fünke in the sitcom Arrested Development.

All quotes by David Cross

Quotes by other comedians

While everyone else was saying Trick or Treat my dad was telling us to say Triki Tras.

Love your kids unconditionally. My mother had an onlooker breastfeed me.

I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.

If Jesus can walk on water can he swim on land?

Oh yeah he thinks he’s possessed by Scar, the evil lion from lion king, because that happens!