James Lipton: The most pompous arrogant failure in history.
Quote by David Cross:
Quotes by other comedians
The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle.
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.
We live in a country where Rosa Parks had the courage and conviction to sit down long enough to start a revolution that lead to Al Sharpton screaming racism every time Barry Bonds gets indicted for taking performance enhancing drugs in order to break a home run record set by a black man who didn't even have the benefit of Advil.
Going to get a dog and name him, "I don't want to live anymore", then walk around calling him.