Quote by David Cross:

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

Comedian
Short bio
David Cross is an American stand-up comedian, actor, director, and writer, known primarily for his stand-up performances, the HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show, and his role as Tobias Fünke in the sitcom Arrested Development.

All quotes by David Cross

Quotes by other comedians

It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.

"A national day of prayer"? Does that scare the spine out of anyone? Especially when you consider that it's all those dog-shit religions that start these fucking wars to begin with. Ninety percent of every war that's ever been fought is because of some made-up, mind control, completely fictional religion.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles.

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.

Stand up straight. If you stand up straight, you will instantly feel better about yourself, and you will project a better image to the world, one that says you don't feel like you have to be hunched over and closed off.