Quote by David Cross:

I don't think Osama bin Laden sent those planes to attack us because he hated our freedom. I think he did it because of our support for Israel, our ties with the Saudi family and our military bases in Saudi Arabia. You know why I think that? Because that's what he fucking said! Are we a nation of 6-year-olds? Answer: yes.

Comedian
Short bio
David Cross is an American stand-up comedian, actor, director, and writer, known primarily for his stand-up performances, the HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show, and his role as Tobias Fünke in the sitcom Arrested Development.

All quotes by David Cross

Quotes by other comedians

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.

I knew that drinking and doing stand-up was going to make me less of an effective comedian. And I just had a lot invested in wanting to be a really good comedian and so I stopped for that reason.