God... crack. Only in America would a guy invent crack. Only in America would there be a guy that cocaine wasn't good enough for. You know? One guy walking around New York City back in 1985 going, "You know, that cocaine's pretty good, but I want something that makes my heart explode as soon as I smoke it, ok? I want to take one suck off that crack pipe and go (snort) Now I'm happy! I'm dead, the ultimate high!"
Quote by Denis Leary:
Quotes by other comedians
I'm trying to do things I have never done. Like I recently went to 3 different ballets. And I loved trying to learn how to like those a little bit.
I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
All boys' Catholic school is a lot like going to a regular school, except your teacher is a priest - with benefits. No, I'm kidding. I was never touched by any priest in school. Which makes me think, 'Am I not attractive?'