I don't do illegal drugs anymore. Now I just do the legal drugs. Tonight I'm on NyQuil and Sudafed. Let me tell you something, folks. Forget about cocaine and heroin. All you need is NyQuil and Sudafed. I'm telling you right now, I took NyQuil five years ago. I just came out of the coma tonight before the fucking show!
Quote by Denis Leary:
Quotes by other comedians
Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?
I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me.
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fucking mouth.