The biggest conspiracy has always been the fact that there is no conspiracy. Nobody's out to get you. Nobody gives a shit whether you live or die. There, you feel better now?
Quote by Dennis Miller:
Quotes by other comedians
I’m trying to feel terrified and alone. And regret every decision I’ve ever made, drenched in a cold sweat. It’s called going to sleep. Maybe you’ve heard of it.
The nicest present I ever got was an exploding suppository.
At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.