Quote by Dennis Miller:

Now let me get this straight. Bush is anti-abortion, but pro-death penalty. I guess it's all in the timing, huh?

Comedian
Short bio
Dennis Michael Miller is an American talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, and comedian. He was a cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1991, and subsequently hosted a string of his own talk shows on HBO, CNBC, and in syndication.

All quotes by Dennis Miller

Quotes by other comedians

It's more important to put pressure in your tires than on yourself.

I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights.

We could walk into a Chinese restaurant right here in Chicago. And the waiter could have been born here, raised here, went to college here, he has never left the city limits. I'm the idiot that walks in that restaurant and goes [in exaggerated Chinese] "Uh, yes. I'll have fried rice. Egg roll..." And you can see him go "I am so going to spit in your food, I swear to God." And it drives my daughter crazy. 'Cause she goes "why do you do that? That is so insulting to them!"

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.

My girlfriend said, "Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need!" So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.