Quote by Dick Gregory:

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

Comedian
Short bio
Richard Claxton Gregory was an American comedian, civil rights activist, social critic, writer, conspiracy theorist, entrepreneur, and occasional actor. During the turbulent 1960s, Gregory became a pioneer in stand-up comedy for his "no-holds-barred" sets, in which he mocked bigotry and racism.

All quotes by Dick Gregory

Quotes by other comedians

Be talented enough to make it and stupid enough to keep trying.

If the immigration bill doesn't go through it is okay because we'll still go through.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.