Quote by Dom Irrera:

Oh, that's very profound, 'Insight Man'.

Comedian
Short bio
Domenick Jack "Dom" Irrera is an American stand-up comedian. Much of his material is in the form of stories about his life, especially his childhood years and growing up in an Italian-American family.

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I'm great in bed when I'm alone.

It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big, transcontinental, cross-country, red, white and blue stroke job... Do you know what the national emblem for this country ought to be? Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting, and seated on a chair next to him, the Statue of Liberty jerking him off. That would be a good symbol for the United Strokes of America.

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t make any difference.

Actually my Dad just took off. It was one of those divorces he split and he'd show up once a year and give me a Nerf football for Christmas. Thought he's my hero again. Woah it's two colors... you spoil me, you prick.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.