Nobody needs a cookie. You will never get your lab results back, "Well, apparently, Miss Bexim what you need - and I am a doctor, I've never seen this before - some sort of a cookie. You're actually too healthy. You need a cookie."
Quote by Dom Irrera:
Quotes by other comedians
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.