Quote by Dom Irrera:

My whole family, all they talk about is food and disease. And they're competitive with illness: "I have a cold." "I wish I had a cold! I don't even have sinuses anymore."

Comedian
Short bio
Domenick Jack "Dom" Irrera is an American stand-up comedian. Much of his material is in the form of stories about his life, especially his childhood years and growing up in an Italian-American family.

All quotes by Dom Irrera

Quotes by other comedians

My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.

Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.

Who do you think was better: Jesus or Buddha; I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified?

Why couldn't, uh, why couldn't have Rush Limbaugh croaked from it instead of Heath Ledger?