Quote by Eddie Izzard:

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!

Comedian
Short bio
Edward John Izzard is an English stand-up comic, actor, writer, and political activist. His comedic style takes the form of rambling whimsical monologues and self-referential pantomime.

All quotes by Eddie Izzard

Quotes by other comedians

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"

My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

My wife loves me for what I could've been.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

You look like the kind of woman who dates guys in prision.