Quote by Eddie Izzard:

Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette." Racist people never go, "Do you mind if I'm racist? Oh, I'll go outside … fucking blue people, eh? Coming here, steal our hamsters…"

Comedian
Short bio
Edward John Izzard is an English stand-up comic, actor, writer, and political activist. His comedic style takes the form of rambling whimsical monologues and self-referential pantomime.

All quotes by Eddie Izzard

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There's always anxiety when you start a new job, you're the one guy who doesn't know where the ketchup is.

You'll have to excuse me for my bad posture. My mom says it's 'cause I have a huge cock. Yeah, she talks like that. She's a sailor. We don't judge her. She lives by one rule, and it's the rule of the sea.

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

I wasn't crazy but it is incredibly stressful.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?