I don't think I'm a part of my mind that's always working - keeping a record of things that might be funny.
Quote by Freddie Prinze:
Quotes by other comedians
My mother is still mad at me from when the pope died. She calls me up when the pope died, 'Meho, we have to go to church and pray for him.' I go, 'Mom, it's the pope. We don't have to pray for him. Just stay home.' 'No, meho, he needs our help.' I'm like, 'Mom, you're Catholic. You believe that the pope is the holiest person on Earth. You believe that he actually talks to God.' 'Well he does.' 'Well, if that's true, pendejo, he's in heaven. He doesn't need your help. If the pope needs help getting into heaven, you and I are fucked. Do you understand that?'
IRS officials calling you acting like you owe them the money personally! I don’t owe you shit! This is between me and the company!
Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'
I don't understand what goes on some times, right, cuz here we are in this theater, we gettin along just fine. We go outside and the shit change.
You might be a redneck if you empty the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and then slamming on the brakes.