Quote by Gallagher:


See, it's frivolous, superfluous products in America. Like scented toilet paper... is the dumbest thing in the world! The only thing you don't have to make smell good cause it's gonna get fucked up. Who is that smell there to impress? My thumb? If you want to impress my thumb, make it thicker in the middle.

Comedian
Short bio
Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr., known as Gallagher, is an American comedian known for smashing watermelons as part of his prop comedy act.

All quotes by Gallagher

Quotes by other comedians

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

People come up to us and ask how we knew so much about their own family... I'm talking about people from faraway places, too. I get people from Turkey and Chile coming up to me and saying I wrote about their family.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.