Quote by Gallagher:

I found out why God made babies cute. It's so you don't kill them.

Short bio
Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr., known as Gallagher, is an American comedian known for smashing watermelons as part of his prop comedy act.

All quotes by Gallagher

Quotes by other comedians

I understand dildos: not everybody has fifteen inches of dick to swing around to scare the children.

I just felt wonderful about that. Just to erase all that mess about,"'Well, I'm either flipping burgers or doing drugs, you know, or getting shot." You know, that kind of a thing.

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.