'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' looking 'E' and an 'E' looking 'I' then put the dot, right there in the middle!
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Quotes by other comedians
When you have a knowledge of history, it's very soothing. When there's continuity in your life, it's soothing.
What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
Now... just wait a minute. Did I start talking Portuguese up here and not realize it?