Quote by Gallagher:


Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad!

Comedian
Short bio
Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr., known as Gallagher, is an American comedian known for smashing watermelons as part of his prop comedy act.

All quotes by Gallagher

Quotes by other comedians

Did you poop a virgin? ‘Cause that shit is tight.

If you ever want to go golfing, take Brad with you. He will make you look better. He came in dead last. There were 75 celebrities and pro athletes and he came in dead last.

When you don't take an aggressive role in shaping your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, you become a helpless passenger floating through the universe like a ghost ship, merely reacting to wherever it takes you.