Quote by Gallagher:

Why do they call 'em 'buildings' when they're done building 'em? They ought to be called 'builts.' Or, 'crumblings.' 'I live in that crumbling over there.'

Short bio
Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr., known as Gallagher, is an American comedian known for smashing watermelons as part of his prop comedy act.

All quotes by Gallagher

Quotes by other comedians

In addition to optimal atmosphere, the tight-knit staff at Kelly's made performers feel welcome and above all respected. Elsewhere, that wasn't always the case. I made some good friends there. It was a wonderful place. You never missed home when you were there. I was having a good time, and people were awfully good to me.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'

My wife loves me for what I could've been.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.