Quote by Gallagher:


Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

Comedian
Short bio
Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr., known as Gallagher, is an American comedian known for smashing watermelons as part of his prop comedy act.

All quotes by Gallagher

Quotes by other comedians

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

You've got to be optimistic to be single. Stupid. You have to be stupid. That's what optimistic means, you know. It means stupid. An optimist is someone who goes, "Hey, maybe something nice will happen!" Why the fuck would anything nice ever happen?! What are you stupid?!

Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.