I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Quote by Garry Shandling:
Quotes by other comedians
Last girl I went out blew me off, gave me the Heisman. Straight arm, knee up. Boom. Now I call her with lame excuses. Hey did I leave a penny over there? Maybe I'll swing by late night. Late night.
In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee.
I’m Jewish… We’re a very nervous group. Paranoid. Anxiety-ridden. Maybe that Hitler thing made us a little jumpy. Nothing like a Holocaust to make you mind your Ps and Qs for a couple hundred years I always say.
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.