I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Quote by Garry Shandling:
Quotes by other comedians
It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don't mean. We make promises we don't keep. "I'll call you." "Let's get together." We know we won't.
Festivus for the Restivus!
If you stretched the average person’s intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.