Quote by George Burns:

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Comedian
Short bio
George Burns was an American comedian, actor, singer, and writer. He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, radio, film and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar-smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three-quarters of a century.

All quotes by George Burns

Quotes by other comedians

Nothing, believe me, nothing is more satisfying to me personally than getting a great idea and then beatin' it to death.

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

Everybody I’ve ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after that, everybody. Every woman in here got intimidated by a guy, pushed around too much, now you’re new boyfriend tickles you a little too hard, boom restraining order. Every guy here had a woman sleep with his best friend, now your new girlfriend hugs your cousin a little long, boom car bomb.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, 'Hey, maybe I wrote that.'

The competitions are as much a part of the tradition as the actual dances.