Quote by George Burns:

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Short bio
George Burns was an American comedian, actor, singer, and writer. He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, radio, film and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar-smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three-quarters of a century.

All quotes by George Burns

Quotes by other comedians

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?