Quote by George Burns:

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

Comedian
Short bio
George Burns was an American comedian, actor, singer, and writer. He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, radio, film and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar-smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three-quarters of a century.

All quotes by George Burns

Quotes by other comedians

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?

Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?

The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.