I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
Quote by George Burns:
Quotes by other comedians
I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.
You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?
Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?
The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.