Quote by Gilbert Gottfried:

What do you get when you cross a genius with a hooker? A fucking know-it-all.

Short bio
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried is an American stand-up comedian, actor and voice actor. Gottfried's persona as a comedian features an exaggerated shrill voice and emphasis on crude humor.

All quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

Quotes by other comedians

My nosey neighbor called the cops on me for making too much noise during football. Is fluffy gonna have to open up a can whop ass?

My plan this year is to achieve spiritual enlightenment through ceaseless competition with everything.

Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.

There's a one in six billion chance you'll find your soul mate. And that's if they're not dead. At best they're probably living in some Siberian ice cave eating bugs and weaving beads into their back hair. But they're out there. My dad believed that to find your perfect soul mate, first, you had to look through a bunch of other guys' soul mates.