Quote by Gilbert Gottfried:

I've always felt sorry for Jesus 'cause you know no matter what he ever did, he could never live up to his father.

Comedian
Short bio
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried is an American stand-up comedian, actor and voice actor. Gottfried's persona as a comedian features an exaggerated shrill voice and emphasis on crude humor.

All quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

Quotes by other comedians

I got divorced from my wife on June 6, 2006. Yeah, 6-6-06, which coincidentally, was when my wife turned into a demon spawned from Satan's anus. But for legal reasons, I have to call her, "Kate."

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney's door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Don't let's someone walk all over you unless you're into that kind of thing.