Quote by George Carlin:

Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

Comedian
Short bio
George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects.

All quotes by George Carlin

Quotes by other comedians

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

This country you’re sitting in right now was not built on love, hugs, time-outs and trophies you didn’t earn. This country was built on shame, humiliation and striving to be better. By the way, if you’re in this room right now and you’re successful… you didn’t get there because someone loved you too much or gave you too many hugs or you got a trophy when you lost. You did it because at one point in your life, somebody turned to you and said you’re a loser, and in that second, you decided to bust your ass to make them choke on that sentence... Or, your parents gave you the money.

Men would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both - or even worse, cry and yell at us.

A Rubik’s cube is equal to a drag queen. It’s really colorful, but I don’t wanna do it.

They should call fishing what it really is... tricking and killing!