Quote by Henny Youngman:

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

Comedian
Short bio
Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner"; his best known one-liner being "Take my wife ... please".

All quotes by Henny Youngman

Quotes by other comedians

President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the old-fashioned way - liquored up in a cheap hotel room.

About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?'

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant. Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist but you lovely bitches and hos should know I'm trying to correct this.

People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.

But I just think I was lucky enough to figure out early on that I wanted to do comedy, so that's what I put all my effort into.