My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
Quote by Henny Youngman:
Quotes by other comedians
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Superheroes. Because we needed something to make regular heroes feel shitty.
I already wish I could relive my future.
We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.
You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; "it would be different if it was your own child." Well what if it wasn't?