Quote by Jack Benny:

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

Short bio
Jack Benny, often called "Jackson" on his own show, was an American comedian, vaudevillian, radio, television and film actor, and violinist.

All quotes by Jack Benny

Quotes by other comedians

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it. I have never seen anyone actually do it.

You may not think I'm a sex symbol, but I became a father at the age of 48. Now young people think of me as a mini-folk hero because it's difficult for them to believe a man of my age is sexually active.

And then I realized I was being checked out by guys! And I know they were checking me out, because they were looking at me like I look at tacos. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I can turn on a man! Shoot!" And I called my girlfriend, and I said, "Baby, you better not mess this up; I have options!"

You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to pick up women.