Quote by Jack Benny:

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

Comedian
Short bio
Jack Benny, often called "Jackson" on his own show, was an American comedian, vaudevillian, radio, television and film actor, and violinist.

All quotes by Jack Benny

Quotes by other comedians

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it.

Hey, is there a new critically acclaimed movie called “Other People”? Because that’s what I want to see.

Guns don’t kill people. Stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people.

Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.