No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.
Quote by Jack Benny:
Quotes by other comedians
I do have insecurities. I don’t know if you can tell. I’m not brimming with confidence.
God bless America. But God, please help Canada.
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.
You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"