Quote by Jackie Mason:

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Comedian
Short bio
ackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time. His 1986 one-man show The World According to Me won a Special Tony Award, an Outer Critics Circle Award, an Ace Award, an Emmy Award, and a Grammy nomination.

All quotes by Jackie Mason

Quotes by other comedians

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it’s like he’s spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

There was one woman who had a giant sign and on it, it just said, 'America Is Better Than Abortion.' I think she meant that America was too good a place for the horror of abortion. But instead, it sounded like she had weighed both - the American spirit and getting an abortion and decided that American spirit better. I think it is a bad idea to have grammatically ambiguous protest signs.