If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.
Quote by Jackie Mason:
Quotes by other comedians
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!
I wish you'd say that to my face. Not because I'm offended, but because I'm lonely and could use the company.
Turning a breakup into a break-over... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!