Quote by Jackie Mason:

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

Comedian
Short bio
ackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time. His 1986 one-man show The World According to Me won a Special Tony Award, an Outer Critics Circle Award, an Ace Award, an Emmy Award, and a Grammy nomination.

All quotes by Jackie Mason

Quotes by other comedians

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!

I wish you'd say that to my face. Not because I'm offended, but because I'm lonely and could use the company.

Turning a breakup into a break-over... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!