My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money, watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
Quote by Jackie Mason:
Quotes by other comedians
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.