Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.
Quote by Jackie Mason:
Quotes by other comedians
This is brought to you by HBO, which is a subsidiary of Time Warner, also owned by America Online. You've got mail! I hope you don't have stocks.
Sometimes you can make friends, and sometimes you can take friends. Sometimes people want to be friends with you, and you gotta be like, 'Okay, I can deal with this person's personality and be their friend, but not necessarily do I have to change who I am. I'm not gonna change myself to be their friend.'
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.