I've got another friend who is half-Polish and half-Jewish. He's a janitor, but he owns the building!
Quote by Jackie Mason:
Quotes by other comedians
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to inspire people when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
That's when you know you're pretty fucked up, when it makes sense to fall asleep... I was driving between Needles and Barstow... It's about 120 miles of desert... It's four in the morning, man... Hey, this is a pretty good time to go to sleep... So I totaled this fuckin' car out, man!... I fuckin' totaled it! And it made sense at the time!
The NFL draft is going to be this Thursday. That's a huge night for college players. That's the night they start being paid over the table.