Quote by Jackie Mason:


I've got another friend who is half-Polish and half-Jewish. He's a janitor, but he owns the building!

Comedian
Short bio
ackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time. His 1986 one-man show The World According to Me won a Special Tony Award, an Outer Critics Circle Award, an Ace Award, an Emmy Award, and a Grammy nomination.

All quotes by Jackie Mason

Quotes by other comedians

Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to inspire people when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

That's when you know you're pretty fucked up, when it makes sense to fall asleep... I was driving between Needles and Barstow... It's about 120 miles of desert... It's four in the morning, man... Hey, this is a pretty good time to go to sleep... So I totaled this fuckin' car out, man!... I fuckin' totaled it! And it made sense at the time!

The NFL draft is going to be this Thursday. That's a huge night for college players. That's the night they start being paid over the table.