Quote by Janeane Garofalo:

Not that I was ever an asshole but I used to be much more of a bulldozer.

Short bio
Janeane Marie Garofalo is an American actress, voice artist, stand-up comedian, and writer. Garofalo began her career as a stand-up comedian and became a cast member on The Ben Stiller Show, The Larry Sanders Show, and Saturday Night Live.

All quotes by Janeane Garofalo

Quotes by other comedians

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

My car broke down this morning before I did.

Life gave you lemons and you turned it into golden showers. God bless you for that.