Quote by Jay Leno:

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.

Comedian
Short bio
James Douglas Muir Leno is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and television host. After doing stand-up comedy for years, he became the host of NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992 to 2009.

All quotes by Jay Leno

Quotes by other comedians

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

I bought a pedigree dog for 300$. My friend said, "Give me 300$ and I'll shit on your carpet."

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.

I don’t think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was "I should cut my bangs."