War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells 'OIL.'
Quote by Jay Leno:
Quotes by other comedians
I'd like to protect children, too, but… is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good. … They've midwived a lot of good ideas… lot of great songs, you know? I think "Penny Lane" is worth 10 dead kids. … I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. There, I said it.
There, there's your skin-flap. That piece that looks like my ass caught fire and somebody put it out with an old t-shirt is yours.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.