Ambition beats genius 99 percent of the time.
Quote by Jay Leno:
Quotes by other comedians
A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
A serving size on ice cream is like a half a cup. Is that like a joke some guy put on there? "Hey, come here: look what I put for the serving size. Did you see? I just did it as a joke but they're going out like that." You ever know anybody to eat a half a cup of ice cream? "Hey, you wanna go grab something to eat?" "Ah, no. I had a half a cup of ice cream. Ya, a whole half a cup. I just kept eating and eating and eating. I must've had two spoonfuls."
I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with.